Doubts

Posted: September 27, 2010 in Uncategorized

Captain’s log                        Stardate: 64240.2 (Sept 27th, 2010)

Its the Monday blues for many. The day seems dull and grey, and before you know it, the sky started raining cats and dogs. To me, it just feel so calm, relaxed, as I sat behind the desk in the office, staring out through the window. Not to mention how many would describe it as “the best weather for sleeping.”

Its break time. In about 15 minutes time, both me and my partner will continue on our schedule. The time shown earlier during my break, was 1640hrs. My mind started to flood with thoughts as I stared out at the showering sky. One of them in mind, seems rather impossible to erase. Day after day, as time passed away, I find it hard to get her off my mind. I tried to preoccupied my mind by focusing on my work, and by listening to the pitter patter of raindrops crashing heavily and noisily against the window earlier. No matter what, it keeps coming back. She appeared in my mind, like as though following me around like a shadow from the past. Sometimes I wonder, does she? All those conversations through MSN chatline, exchange of postings and comments through our facebook……..do they all gave me that answer. The answer I want. Does she?

At times like this I just didn’t know what to think about myself. I hate to feel being paranoid for such a slightest matter. But all seems to appear unraveling. Its like as though the weight of the world had crashed upon me and that it seems hard to get by. Yes, I admit that deep down inside me, I do care for her. She ever do tell me how much she like me because of my characteristic wise. But……there’s others who is after her too.

I don’t really understand why this keeps happening to me time and time again. All I need, is this. Nothing else. I was told to go for it, and yes I did as I was told to. But then again, there’s always the same problem that others was reaching for the same girl. Honestly speaking, I will NEVER treated her like as though she’s some prize to be won. Its just so wrong! I will NEVER. Its just that, I really fall for her……

Nevertheless, she will always spare that time to chat with me whenever she’s online. And that always makes me feel happy. But that feeling just wouldn’t fade away. Nothing ever comes close to this. Adorable…..sweet…..gentle……caring…..she’s all of the above. What more is there, that suits her? She was really loved by many…..

My eyes still stared out through the window. The rain had picked up, till I could feel the gust of wind slipping through the gaps located at the sides of the window. At times like this does makes you wonder, as you settled back comfortably, what will the day bring when comes to the end of it? What was the moral of it? What does it teaches you? Especially when been trusted in the eyes of the public. Good things don’t always go as what you may think it might be always. At most, its unlikely. Most importantly, its how you lived to see it, and how you played your part.

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Comments
  1. Azli says:

    Hmm…..in love bro? =P

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